Hate Talk. It has to stop.

This morning I was bad talking to someone. Really harsh and hateful words. Ugly words. My husband was listening and at last told me, "Don't you dare talk like that to my wife." Yes - I was giving myself hate talk because I did not like the reflection in the mirror.

You know, I work with people every day to help them improve their self- esteem. I know the advice to give to others, yet there are days when I seem incapable of practicing what I preach. As luck would have it I have been filing paperwork this morning and came across a printed copy of the January 6, 2009 You Have Arrived Newsletter. The opening article really struck home with me today and I feel it timely to share with you as well. Today I will work on being kind to myself. How about you?

2009 - It's Your Time to Shine
by Kaye Bailey
Happy 2009 Neighbors! This is your year to shine and I'm going to help you with the 5 Day Pouch Test and our continued community support in the Neighborhood. In the Neighborhood this year we have already talked a lot about self-improvement and renewed personal commitment as we begin the New Year with resolve. After the buzz of the New Year dulls it may become easy to find reasons not to measure up to our resolution expectations. As we have heard lately, life gets in the way. But I suggest this year we don't resolve to live a better life: instead I suggest we expect to live a better life.

In 1980 the US Hockey Team, against all odds, beat the Russians to win the Olympic gold medal. It was a long-shot victory at best and when team captain Mike Eruzione was asked why they won he said the pundits had underestimated the team's intangible assets. He said, "Our abilities deserved seventh place. They were wrong because of the 'intangibles.' How can you measure desire, commitment, faith, passion, and courage? They weren't able to measure those 'whys.' There weren't able to see how much heart we had, how much pride we had, why we were so close as a team, and why we were willing to pay the price that enabled us to win. You ask why we won. We asked ourselves, 'why not?'"

I believe that as a community we can pool our desire, commitment, faith, passion, and courage to become a gold medal winning team of Neighbors who are doing our very best to thrive in a world where it is much easier to stay unhealthy. The power of collective strength is unstoppable. As is the course of human nature there will be times some are thriving while others are struggling: but together we can strengthen one another and we can meet our best expectations in 2009.

In this course of his studies on evolution Charles Darwin discovered that in sea turtles it is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor is it the most intelligent of the species that survive. The survivors are those most responsive to change. As weight loss surgery patients we have affected a major change on our bodies, our species. I consider that we caused a voluntary acceleration of evolution and because of this we must embrace and accept change with great enthusiasm. We don't have to be the strongest or most intelligent, we just simply have to move forward accepting this change and find what works.

Our surgeons have skillfully changed us physically. But the more difficult change comes from within. Within our minds, our hearts, and yes, our spiritual beings. When we embrace inner change our physical being will follow.

As part of embracing change I ask you to be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself. This is a really important part of the 5 Day Pouch Test and LivingAfterWLS. Often people recovering from morbid obesity (myself included) put ourselves last on the priority list. Anything else feels selfish and we are giving people, right? Wrong. We cannot give fully of ourselves until we are healthy inside and out. And remember, you are never alone in this journey. Come see is in the Neighborhood.