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Thursday, January 05, 2006

Dating Dilemma!
It's All About The Food

Hello LivingAfterWLS Friends;

Our terrific contributor and my friend Diane Shields went on her first post-WLS blind date last weekend. The date: dinner & a movie. Diane didn't want to blurt her WLS history on the first date - who would? Yet her date reported back to their mutual friend that she ordered food strangely and declined popcorn and dessert at the movie. Of course she did! Diane is a woman of strong commitment to her healthy WLS lifestyle and she's an expert on low-carb, low-fat cooking and eating.

Diane said, "I guess what I really want is some alternative to the dinner and movie thing. Something that does not require eating. Remember, I live in the south. Everything revolves around food."

So you dating dynamos out there - What fun dates are you enjoying that don't involve dinner and a movie? Let's help Diane and the other singles out there. And married friends - join in too - what are you and your mate doing for dates that does not involve food and a movie?

Post your comments here or Email Meme if you require a private medium. The January 18th "You Have Arrived" is all about New Intimacy after WLS - Stay tuned!


Anonymous said...

I'm from the South, too, and I know how THAT goes. Luckily, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend had a Fobi pouch done about 10 years ago, and so he knew that I had to be CAREFUL about eating and stuff. He thought at first it would be weird, but it's gone well so far--for example, I'll order a shrimp cocktail (Although we did have a bad time of THAT when a friend who KNEW I was only 2 weeks postop kept trying to force a bite of stuffed mushroom on me and I had to yell at her...but I digress).

We tend to go to concerts mostly, which works out ok. I mean, bottled water, anyone? And I can always find something that works at the restaurants we go to after. So far, I haven't really had the stamina to make it through a whole show, but I'm getting there.

We also do silly sight-seeing trips (since I don't live in California yet). This was pre-WLS, but one of the BEST times we had was going to Hollywood Forever and looking at the stars' graves.

Another thing that I would love to do as a "date", even though it's not suggested for anyone not already IN a relationship, is to get a massage together.

Going out to dance clubs is also an option, if you're into that.

Anonymous said...


Kim said...

Dating!! How exciting...I'm still waiting for Mr. Right to come a knockin' at my door. Dinner and a movie would be wonderful. I can eat a real meal these days without appearing to be abnormal and since I'm in California, we have plenty of healthy choices on the menu. As for the popcorn at the movies, well I would just tell him that I'm still full from such a wonderful dinner. Or, I could be somewhat honest and tell him that I don't have floss in my purse and I become a wreck trying to get the little pieces out of my teeth...
Best to all of you daters!

Diane; AL said...

Thanks for all the comments so far. I'm tired of jerks in my life so I agreed to let my friend set me up-big mistake.

First dates are difficult at best without all the drama of explaining about WLS.

One of the ladies in my local WLS support group told me to find someone from the group like she did. That's all well and good for her.

Any first date suggestions out there???

I've even thought of online dating--scary!!


Julie said...

Top 10 things to do.
(No outside food allowed!) LOL

10. Museum or art gallery
9. Walk in a park
8. Go to the zoo - feed the animals!
7. symphony, theatre, concert
6. NASCAR race. (that's my husband's idea - I guess he's not counting the beer.)
5. Take a class together
4. Sight-see in your own town
3. Browse a book store (good conversation starter)
2. PlayStation

... and the number one thing to do is GO SHOPPING FOR NEW CLOTHES!

Good Luck and Enjoy.

Anonymous said...

so true about california!!!

and bowling can be fun but snack bar=evil

Kathleen said...

I actually have tried the online dating thing. Recently I met a wonderful man, and our first date was dinner and a movie. I was uncertain of how to aproach explaining about the surgery but the more I thought about it I realized how proud I am of what I have accomplished. In a way the waiter took the whole thing out of my hands, as the waiter was distressed that I had not eaten enough and wanted to bring me something else. (I declined another menu choice, and had simply covered my plate with the napkin) At this point I explained to my date, and being the wonderful person he is I later learned that rather than ask me a million questions he went home and researched WLS and even watched video segments of a surgery. I felt a bit strange when he asked if he could see my before pictures, yet I did show them to him on a later that time he explained to me that I was beautiful before the surgery as well and I was glad to learn he would have been interested in me either way. When he told me that he had gone home and done his research I was extremely impressed.

Since my surgery I spend a great deal of time working out and had signed up for some social dance classes...which this wonderful man now wants to go to with me as well. Imagine my surprise when he even asked if I would like to go Christmas Shopping at the mall!

My suggestions for alternate things to do...

Dance Classes, Walks on the Beach, movies, Listen to music, and a great deal of laughter! I have even now gone fishing for the first time in my life!

Sandi said...

I still go on "dates" with my hub, and since I've been losing weight, and getting in shape, the dates are a lot more fun. It has been challenging to find things that don't revolve around eating. I never realized that for the past 20 years eating has been the focal point of our time alone together in public... Now we love to do active things together. Here are my favorites:

1. golf
2. tennis
3. backpack
4. hike
5. landscape
6. interior design

Of my non-active things to do, here are my favorites:

1. have "art" evenings where we draw, paint, sketch and do pottery together (romance factor: do it by candlelight if you want to heat things up with the person)

2. Read to each other from a book you both have been dying to read
3. Play cards, chess, checkers, pictionary...
4. Go to a lecture
5. Do volunteer work together

It's been a lot of fun for me to find that after all these years, we still have so many things we like to do together.

I wish all of you the best of luck as you continue to improve your lives.