Throw-Back-Thursday: Motivation and Kindness

TBT! Hello good readers and happy Throw Back Thursday to you! Perhaps I should call it "TRUE CONFESSIONS THURSDAY" because today I reveal to you the most difficult thing about being a bariatric researcher-writer/online personality/patient: Staying Motivated and Treating Myself Kindly.

There it is.  I know! I nag you all the time to be kind to yourself and to use motivation as your most powerful tool in the management of this most disrespected disease we call obesity. Being brave and confident in the face of constant struggle coupled with years of blaming and belittling ourselves for a metabolic disorder is exhausting. More often than not at the end of the day the last thing I want to worry about is the Four Rules or the bathroom scale or fighting the zipper on mysteriously shrinking blue jeans (it's the dryer, right?).  You too?

Blog Post 06/21/2016:
Obesity Reclassified: Obesity is a medical condition, not a moral failure

But I've committed to you to keep researching, keep writing, and hopefully, consistently provide your with the inspiration you crave that soothes your soul at times when you feel you cannot take another moment of this crazy harder-than-hell LivingAfterWLS way of life.

Now the good news for me is that there is a rainbow in the storm! Since 2005 I've written thousands and thousands of articles, a few books, and created year's worth of recipes that serve as my safety-net when I cannot muster the resolve to pull inspiration and kindness from thin air. Today I've pulled from our archives a Weekly Digest newsletter from 2014 that is all about Self-Compassion as we travel this difficult road. It turns out this "road" is more a bumpy meandering primitive trail rather than the faster easier super highway. Darn it! If only WLS were as easy those on the outside think it is!  I've shared here my opening greeting from that newsletter and provided links to the longer articles. 

I needed to read this, perhaps you do as well. After all, we are in this together!

Resources for You: We have thousands of articles, blog posts, and newsletters available to you free - your safety net. Use the "SEARCH" box in this blog or the topic cloud (both in the right hand column) to find articles and links to topics that matter to you. Please note we cannot honor expired promotions shown in our archived resources.

Enjoy!
Kaye


Improve Health and Weight Loss
Self-Compassion is the first step
October 2014
Link to the Newsletter: Weekly Digest October 2014

"Thank you for joining me in this week's LivingAfterWLS Digest, I know your time is valuable and appreciate you spending some of it with me. Today I address the issue of self-compassion and kindness and the role it plays in our health and weight management after surgery. As a group we are generous with our kindness and caring for others, but oh-so-hard on ourselves. Not a day goes by where I don't receive an email full of self-loathing and disappointment when WLS has not gone text book perfect as planned. Words like "failure" "disappointed" "angry" "depressed" and "hopeless" are used to describe setbacks that are perceived as personal weakness. Yet if we were to listen to a friend talk this way about herself we wouldn't allow it - we would build on her strengths and abilities and buoy her spirits with encouragement and praise.

It is time we turn the table and exercise self-compassion and self-kindness. Doing so is the first step in taking positive action to manage our weight and health using the surgical tool we so desperately needed. Our featured article, "Encouraging self-compassion for a positive body image" is a good starting place to launch your campaign for self-kindness. Follow that with some "me time" spent on the LivingAfterWLS Personal Self Assessment, your quarterly review of your goals, progress, and plans.
Download the worksheet for free: Self-Assessment Worksheet.

Other features in today's Digest include some fact-filled links on the big health headline: Ebola Virus Disease; updates from the new and improved LivingAfterWLS Blog; a great recipe for Beef with Soba Noodles; and a quick study on the health benefits of walking.

I hope you find this digest useful in your ongoing efforts for improved health with weight loss surgery. You have the power to make this your healthiest season ever! Let's do it together!"

Link to the Newsletter: Weekly Digest October 2014

Connect with the only official 5DPT Facebook Group - See you there!

Healing Through Humor - Laugh Yourself Healthy!

Laugh your way to better health

Shared from WebMD

You’re lying in bed with some kind of health problem, taking medicine and maybe getting some kind of treatment or therapy. Or maybe you’re taking care of someone who’s ill, and it’s wearing you out. Sometimes life can feel pretty overwhelming. This might seem like a crazy idea, but now’s the time for you to laugh.

Think for a minute... Is there anything close by that might cheer you up? A TV show? A book? Your child dancing?

Whatever you’re doing right now, stop and find something that makes you laugh. Sure, laughter can help you forget about your troubles, but it also can help your body heal. That’s right. Laughter can help your body heal.
Your brain talks to your body

You probably already know that your brain is in charge of things like what you think about and your ability to walk, talk, breathe, and move. But did you know that your brain also produces chemicals that affect everything from how fast your heart beats to how well you fight off disease?

Thanks to something called the mind-body connection, the simple act of laughing can tell your brain to produce chemicals that:

    Lower your risk for heart attacks.
    Increase your blood circulation.
    Help your heart work better and pump more evenly.
    Boost your body’s immune system to help you fight off infection.
    Increase your deep breathing, which relaxes your muscles, gives you more energy, and lowers your stress.

Laughter is one of those things, like getting exercise or watching what you eat, that you can do yourself. Here are a few ways to laugh more:

    Ask your spouse, partner, or friends to help by telling you good jokes or bringing you funny movies.
    Spend time with the world’s leading experts on laughter: children.
    Surround yourself with people and things that make you laugh-whatever they may be.
    Surround yourself with humor: An Internet search for "stupid pet tricks" or "funniest home movies" will give you, as well as the people you care for or the people who care for you, plenty to laugh at.
    Ask at your local library or bookstore for funny books, audio programs, or movies.

It's easy to think that the only things that can help your health are things that others do for or to you-the medicines you take, the doctors you visit, the surgeries or operations you have. And these are all important. But laughter is effective treatment you can do for yourself. And you don't need a medical license to do it.

Day 6 after the 5 Day Pouch Test

Good Morning Neighbors! Once in a while there comes a post in the Neighborhood that makes me do the Happy Dance (literally) and this is one of them. Our new Neighbor and friend Beverley, who arrived way back in 2000, just finished the 5 Day Pouch Test. Here is what she has to say about her results and her enthusiasm to move forward. Go ahead and join me in doing the Happy Dance! And Way to Go Beverley!!!

Read the entire conversation in the Neighborhood


Wow Day 6 I've lost 6.5 lbs I'M still totally PUMPED over the new lease on life I have found. I'm surprised at how quickly these 5 days (5 Day Pouch Test) have gone by and how easy I found it.

5 Day Pouch Test Owner's Manual

What Changes I have made in the last 5 days (and still working on).-I now write down everything that passes my lips, no more mindless eating... that leads to snacking and grazing.-I am jotting down how I feel, what my trigger emotions are... what my trigger foods are.
-I've become aware of Slider Foods, always wondered why some foods just go down so easy and can go down in
mega portions ("Up-size that please" no more of that!!) I now consider "Slider Foods" an ex lover, MY NEW LOVER IS PROTEIN.
-Work my tool (that almost sounds dirty), recognize how my pouch feels, I'm looking for a slight fullness now. I was one of those kids that were told to "clean your plate"... I'm an adult now and I'm in control of my intake so "push it away and throw it in the garbage" I give myself permission to do this!!

-Smaller bites and chew, chew, chew, be mind full of the amount I put in my mouth and chew till mush, that sounds gross to someone who is 9 yrs out BUT if that's what it takes mush it is!! Huh...old dogs can learn new tricks!!

The big one THE 4 RULES
- Follow the 30-/-30
- 64 oz water at least
- Protein, Protein, Protein, Protein
- Back to exercising
-I've broke the CarbMonster cycle I'm in control of that CarbMonster, but most of all over my pouch. I will make this tool work for me again! I am in control. Yahooooo
- Planning my meals ahead of time weighing and measuring my food no more eyeballing it, my eyes are waaay bigger than my pouch.. 2 eyes, 1 pouch.. hmmmmm.
- I will begin to WEIGH DAILY. Ignorance is bliss, but not when your NOT watching - and the # on scales creep up... Last week I was opposed to getting on the scale daily.

All this in 5 days WOW, this is a big deal for me. I was aware of most of these things for about 10 mins after my WLS. I'm sure as I continue I will have lots more to add to this list... but for now this is what I am focusing on.

** THANK YOU all so much for your support and encouragement and most of all to my buddy girly, we did it


Day 6 and Going Forward!! Come join us Girly and Dee are joining me in this- Day 6 and Going Forward journey. - you are welcome to join at any time at whatever stage of the 5DPT you are in.

They say it takes 21 days to create a habit, so my plan is to stay on the 6th day of this plan on till the 22nd of this month, this will make it a full 21 days of proper eating...breaking old habits and creating new ones. In this time frame if I fall off the wagon I will go back to day 1&2. I love the soups anyways. 21 days to break a habit is my short term goal.... life/forever is my Day 6 long term goal. Hey girls, we've already got 6-7 days in so thats just 14-15 more to go, we can do it!!

I see there's lots of good recipes for day 6 food, and I understand the 2b/1b and will work on that, as well as continuing what I've been doing last 5 Days. eg 30-0-30.

LivingAfterWLS Online Recipe Collection

I plan to discover what Low-Glycemic fruits and vegs are good for me... Lord knows I have enough diet books this should be fairly easy ( there's the net as well)*" I have the tools and I will use them."*

The Neighborhood Cookbook

I have never had a real structured time to eat my meals before .... I'm thinking this is something worth changing in this 21 Days eg. eating every 2-3 hrs not just when I'm hungry *"if you fail to plan, be prepaired to fail" * I will concentrate on making changes on my bad habits like eating to fast and not chewing my food enough.I plan to continue to post my food and H2o intake daily because it keeps me accountable. I'm thinking 1000 cal a day and 100g protein. Any suggestions here... too many cal, too much protein ?????

I am wondering if there are any other tips for day 6 and onward? I know this question has been asked soooo many times before... but hey this is my first time to ask !!!!!

Secrets of Day 6 & Beyond -- Neighborhood Conversation

21 days to break a habit is my short term goal- life is my long term goal. When I first had my surgery not one grain of sugar passed these lips, It was years ago but I remember it like it was Yesterday. I had surgery in Jan and the following Dec I was at a party *looking fine* and there was a tray of sweets being passed and around... I indulged. That was it for me!
That was the past and I CAN DO THIS AGAIN, RIGHT NOW and SUCCEED!!!

I have found some Motto's on various posts that I'm using... more tools ....if they were yours... thank you.

*"food is my fuel, not my friend"* *"if you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail"* *" I have the tools and I will use them."*

Hate Talk. It has to stop.

This morning I was bad talking to someone. Really harsh and hateful words. Ugly words. My husband was listening and at last told me, "Don't you dare talk like that to my wife." Yes - I was giving myself hate talk because I did not like the reflection in the mirror.

You know, I work with people every day to help them improve their self- esteem. I know the advice to give to others, yet there are days when I seem incapable of practicing what I preach. As luck would have it I have been filing paperwork this morning and came across a printed copy of the January 6, 2009 You Have Arrived Newsletter. The opening article really struck home with me today and I feel it timely to share with you as well. Today I will work on being kind to myself. How about you?

2009 - It's Your Time to Shine
by Kaye Bailey
Happy 2009 Neighbors! This is your year to shine and I'm going to help you with the 5 Day Pouch Test and our continued community support in the Neighborhood. In the Neighborhood this year we have already talked a lot about self-improvement and renewed personal commitment as we begin the New Year with resolve. After the buzz of the New Year dulls it may become easy to find reasons not to measure up to our resolution expectations. As we have heard lately, life gets in the way. But I suggest this year we don't resolve to live a better life: instead I suggest we expect to live a better life.

In 1980 the US Hockey Team, against all odds, beat the Russians to win the Olympic gold medal. It was a long-shot victory at best and when team captain Mike Eruzione was asked why they won he said the pundits had underestimated the team's intangible assets. He said, "Our abilities deserved seventh place. They were wrong because of the 'intangibles.' How can you measure desire, commitment, faith, passion, and courage? They weren't able to measure those 'whys.' There weren't able to see how much heart we had, how much pride we had, why we were so close as a team, and why we were willing to pay the price that enabled us to win. You ask why we won. We asked ourselves, 'why not?'"

I believe that as a community we can pool our desire, commitment, faith, passion, and courage to become a gold medal winning team of Neighbors who are doing our very best to thrive in a world where it is much easier to stay unhealthy. The power of collective strength is unstoppable. As is the course of human nature there will be times some are thriving while others are struggling: but together we can strengthen one another and we can meet our best expectations in 2009.

In this course of his studies on evolution Charles Darwin discovered that in sea turtles it is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor is it the most intelligent of the species that survive. The survivors are those most responsive to change. As weight loss surgery patients we have affected a major change on our bodies, our species. I consider that we caused a voluntary acceleration of evolution and because of this we must embrace and accept change with great enthusiasm. We don't have to be the strongest or most intelligent, we just simply have to move forward accepting this change and find what works.

Our surgeons have skillfully changed us physically. But the more difficult change comes from within. Within our minds, our hearts, and yes, our spiritual beings. When we embrace inner change our physical being will follow.

As part of embracing change I ask you to be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself. This is a really important part of the 5 Day Pouch Test and LivingAfterWLS. Often people recovering from morbid obesity (myself included) put ourselves last on the priority list. Anything else feels selfish and we are giving people, right? Wrong. We cannot give fully of ourselves until we are healthy inside and out. And remember, you are never alone in this journey. Come see is in the Neighborhood.

Get Geared Up For Success in 2009

Hello Neighbors and Happy Monday!

This is last week of January - Have you found your New Year's Resolutions dimming already? I know I need a little boost of encouragement today so I found this article by Cookie Tuminello (pictured below), a Personal Power Mentor at Success Source. In a fundamentally basic way she provides us eight can-do strategies for finding success in 2009. Some of them are quite applicable to us as weight loss surgery post-ops as we tend to carry the "people pleasing" gene. I know you will enjoy this article as much as I did.

Get Geared Up For Success in 2009

By Cookie Tuminello

"Success is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there's something out there you love to do, that you believe in, that you're good at - something that's bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again today." - Whit Hobbs

Are you ready to kick butt this year? Did you jump out of bed this morning ready to go? If you are like most women, you drag yourself out of bed in the morning with a 'ho hum' kind of attitude. And then you wonder why you are not as successful as you think you should be. Newsflash for you. If this sounds like you then you'd better 'Wake up, Alice' because this ain't living and this ain't success. It is sleep walking through your life. It is being resigned to your life. Yuck, who wants to live life like that?

Success is an inside job. If you're not excited and ambitious about where you are and what you're doing in your life, then do something about it - change it.

Now granted, for those of you that know me or have been reading my ezine for awhile know that I don't literally jump out of my bed in the morning. I ease into my day with my quiet time and my coffee. My head is always racing with ideas and things to do so I do some writing (journaling) and read a mediation to clear my head and get myself mentally ready for my day. There is a method to my madness.

Bottom line! If what you're doing right now is not getting you closer to your goal, then you need to stop doing it and start doing something else that will work.

Here are 8 Success Strategies that I use to coach other women who want create quantum leaps in their businesses and their lives.

Now, I know you are probably saying to yourself right now, I've heard all this before. If you know them, use them and are receiving results, read no further. However, if you are not getting the results you want in your business, I think you would be well served to revisit them and take action.

1. DEFINE what success means to you. You can't go there if you don't know where you're going. Could it be more time off to enjoy your successes, more money, more productivity, more fun, more choice. You name it. It's your career and your life. Write it down, make it real. Read "Write It Down Make It Happen" by Henriette Klauser.

2. Use your Core Values to make all your decisions. How many of you know what your core values are? Core values are who we are. They are not who we think we are, who you want to be, or who we think we should be. An example: How many of your current choices reflect your core values? How many are should's and how many are choices.

3. Begin to set boundaries, say No. How many of you have a hard time saying No to everybody else but YOU? Example: How many of you think that just because you have an open door policy in your office that means you have to always be available? How many of you think that you can't say NO because you won't be liked?

4. Ask for what you want. How many of you have a hard time asking for what you want? Your success is tied to your ability to make effective requests, promises, and offers. Example: Request/ Components of Request: Speaker, Listener, Action to be performed, and Time Frame to perform action.

5. Say what you mean and mean what you say. How many of you dance around a subject because you're afraid the result it would produce?

6. Master the art of presenting ideas and handling difficult conversations. There are guidelines. Most people get blindsided and don't get what they want because they don't clear about what it is that they want before having conversations. Example: Promotion, Management Idea, Breakdown with Employee.

7. Plan to succeed daily. How many of you start your day off in a dead heat run and before you get to the office you're already fried only to be met with one breakdown after another? Planning to succeed insures your success. Example: Every morning I start my day with an Intention Statement.

8. Carve out "YOU" time regularly. How many of you schedule You time? How many of you don't even ask for some time for yourself? If you want You time, you will have to plan for it to happen. If you don't take time out for yourself, you become resentful and resigned. If you have trouble asking for time off, start small. Example: Put a 'Do Not Disturb Sign' on bathroom door and pamper yourself with a long hot bath (at least 30 minutes). Doesn't sound like a big deal, but if you never do it, it is a really big deal.

Do yourself a favor this year. Start off on the right foot, with the right strategies and the right mindset so you can get the most out of your time and expertise.

Sign up to receive my FREE Report, '50 Ways to Take Back Your Power Right NOW', my FREE ezine 'Monday Morning Coffee with Cookie', at http://www.SuccessSource.biz all brought to you by Cookie Tuminello, Your Personal Power Mentor!

Visit People Pleaser No More today to get your copy and check out my "People Pleaser No More™" program.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cookie_Tuminello

http://EzineArticles.com/?Get-Geared-Up-For-Success-in-2009&id=1889557

Pouchy Eve: January 12, 2009

Go to the Neighborhood to read more for January 12, 2009

It is dark here on Pouchy Eve and I feel the anticipation of a young child waiting for Christmas morning. I know that there are treasures and gifts to be found come sun up tomorrow and I'm ready!!! And I am excited. I am ready to feel lean, clean, mean and IN CHARGE of my pouchy, my fork, and my life.

I have protein shakes in the super-cold fridge and I have my soups and my tonic tea and my water ready to nourish me tomorrow. There isn't any *bad* or *tempting* food in the house. I talked with my husband and family about this at our family dinner tonight and they are here to help me. What the deal???? I cannot fail because I have done my homework. I am committed and I have a team.

Sounds like many of you have done your homework too. Way to Go!!!

Donna Marie -- Thanks for starting this thread and leading the Neighbors. I know you are new here but I already feel the power of your friendship and persuasion. What a great opportunity for me to be lead by one of our great sisters in the cause of health with surgical weight loss. Thank you.

Everyone else -- I'm with you. Sip-by-sip, step-by-step, minute-by-minute.


Here we go!

We can do this!!!

OK - time for sleepy tea and get some zzzzzzzzzz's! Tomorrow (here comes the cliche') is the first day of the rest of my life and I need to be well rested for the ride!!!


Let's keep this conversation going -- our collective power cannot be stopped.

Won't you be my Neighbor?

It's My Time in 2009: Goal Life

Hello Neighbors!

I hope you all sailed through the holidays and into the New Year safely and happily. I've heard from many of you that 2009 will be the year you get back on track with healthy living after weight loss surgery. ME TOO!!! I'm calling it "It's My Time in 2009!" Join me! I do not mean this in a selfish way, I simply mean that I want to put myself back on my priority list. And I intend to do this by committing daily to take care of myself, to live well physically, mentally and spiritually. The founder of EzineArticles (where my articles are syndicated) Christopher Knight posted on FaceBook today, "I don't do New Years Resolutions: Instead, I re-commit daily to what's most important to me. Every day is a good day to re-commit."

What a great reminder. Every day is a good day to re-commit.

I've written that down & posted it front and center on my first of the year clean bulletin board. Just this simple reminder will help me stay focused on my goals for 2009. I will also be getting help from Gary Ryan Blair - The Goals Guy and fellow Ezine Articles syndicated writer. He is motivational and simply smart about making a life plan and achieving it. When we have weight loss surgery most of us go into it with a "goal weight" in mind. It is a tangible way to measure our success or failure with this last-ditch dieting effort. It is also a great source of agony for many of us. Perhaps it was unrealistic, or we had complications that were unforeseen. The goal alludes us and we feel like failures.

It doesn't have to be this way. What if we consciously set "Goal Life" instead of "Goal Weight"? Instead of focusing on goal weight what if we actively envision the way our life will be as healthy weight people?

In the article below Gary writes, "Don't tiptoe toward your goal, walk confidently...before it waltz's off into the arms of neglect."

Goal Life. That's where I'm headed in 2009. Please join me.


Take Action On Your Goals
By Gary Ryan Blair

The odds that you'll succeed without taking action are about the same as winning the lottery without buying a ticket!

For those times when you feel trapped, stressed, or in a prison of your own making, take purposeful action. It's your Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card!

In real estate, it's location, location, location. In goal-setting its action, action, action! You can't just stick out your thumb and hitchhike your way to success. You've got to roll up your sleeves and do the work that needs to be done. The acid test of goal setting is purposeful action.

Be seduced by the attractiveness of your goal. Inaction leads to impotence. Taking purposeful action immunizes you from “Goal Parkinson's,” a long, slow goodbye to your dreams.

A quality life is accomplished when thoughtful attention, goal setting, and purposeful action click into position.

Whether your dream is to be or not to be is largely dependent upon your actions! The cure for the ills of procrastination is a heavy prescription of action, until the day arrives when your dreams and their achievement are one in the same. Until you cannot tell them apart! And when that day arrives, dream bigger dreams and take more action.

A good plan will almost always get you in the door, but it is action that seals the deal. So you want a guarantee? Well here it is: Without purposeful action, the only guarantee is failure and mediocrity!

Don't tiptoe toward your goal, walk confidently...before it waltz's off into the arms of neglect.

Dreams become reality through one simple mode of transportation: purposeful action. The
continuation of bad habits, such as procrastination, is like having an addiction to weapons of mass destruction.

It is tragically un-hip to procrastinate. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people never display their true potential; it never has an opening night… never makes a debut. The bulk of potential resides deep within each individual just waiting to come out. And it stays there because people are afraid.

The mechanics of achieving a goal make it easy for people to relate to the necessity of action. But when action is not purposeful, it can be an Achilles heel.

When we operate without planning, we remain forever scattered and confused. You're always busy, but not much gets accomplished. Without a deeper appreciation and application of planning, the most you can expect is marginal improvement.

Intimidate your fears through purposeful goal-directed activity. Since when is being the underdog any reason for not pursuing your dreams?

Remember—it's not the size of the dog in the fight… it's the size of the fight in the dog!

Don't just pursue your goal… inhabit it! Wear it, act it, live it, taste it! Get committed—take action. Life is not a scratch-and-sniff test!

When you set a goal, there's distance between your current reality and desired reality.
Procrastination increases the distance and minimizes the chances of achievement.

Procrastination is the mother of regret. It postpones the future, aborts liftoff at the last minute. Unless you take action to achieve your goals, life becomes a constant series of postponements, cancellations, and missed opportunities.

You will never attain your goals simply by thinking and talking about them. You must take action!

Everything Counts!

Gary Ryan Blair is President of The http://www.GoalsGuy.com A visionary and gifted conceptual thinker, Gary is highly regarded as a speaker, consultant, strategic planner, and coach to leading companies throughout the globe.

He helps business owners, corporate executives and sales professionals manage their time, set their priorities, and stay focused so they can achieve their goals, grow their business, and sustain a lasting competitive advantage. Visit http://www.personalstrategicplan.com to get more information.

Article Source: Take Action on Your Goals

The Advantages of Losing Weight

I picked up a magazine "Diet 2009" published by Better Homes and Gardens a few days ago to read-up and ready myself for the New Year, New Resolve, New Hope. On page 56 there is a short article and checklist to identify good reasons for weight loss (or -my addition- healthy weight management.) The list is the work of one of my favorite experts, Judith Beck.She is the director of the Beck Institute for Cognitive Therapy and Research. According to this article the "Advantages List" provides powerful motivation for a dieter to stay on track and avoid temptation." Her sample Advantages List appears below. Check the items that are most important to you or add your own, then write them on a note card to review often.


ADVANTAGES LIST by Judith Beck

I want to lose weight because:
__ I'll look better
__ I'll be more attractive to others
__ I'll be able to wear a smaller size
__ I'll be able to wear more stylish clothes
__ I'll be happier when I look in the mirror
__ I'll get joy out of shopping for clothes
__ I won't feel so self-conscious
__ I'll get more compliments
__ I'll be in better health
__ I'll be able to exercise without discomfort or embarrassment
__ I'll live longer
__ I'll feel better physically
__ I'll have more energy
__ I'll be more physically fit
__ I'll enjoy sexual intimacy more
__ I'll like myself more
__ I'll feel more in control
__ I'll feel as if I've accomplished something important
__ I'll have more confidence
__ I'll increase my self-esteem
__ I'll be less self-critical
__ I'll feel more outgoing
__ I won't have to listen to comments about what I eat
__ I won't mind eating in front of others
__ I won't have anyone bugging me about my weight


I think this is a great list and together we can add more to create a collective Neighborhood Advantages List. So please add your Advantage here.... I am ready to be inspired. Go to the LivingAfterWLS Neighborhood

The Red Dress: Melinda's Christmas Story

Our own Melinda "Melsreturn" who lends inspiration and support to the Neighborhood and the greater weight loss surgery community is the featured author in the December 2008 issue of Obesity Help's WLS Lifestyle magazine!!!! Her story, "The Dress of Christmas YET TO COME" is a poignant journey through obesity recovery to the picture you see above. It is inspiring and truthful and beautiful.

MEL! I am so proud of you I'm just bursting!!!
Your contribution to the WLS community is profound.
I'm sure this is not the last we will see of your words.

THANK YOU & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Mel shared her story with us here:
The Red Dress: A Christmas Reflection

Visit her website here:
Recovering Fatty

Read her blog here:
Recovering Fatty Blog

And let her know how proud of you are here on this thread.

Way to go Melinda!!!!

The LivingAfterWLS Library

It's me again with my weekly Tuesday update. I find it hard to believe Tuesday is here again so soon! For the past several days and nights I've been face to face with my design computer writing code to finish the new and improved LivingAfterWLS Library - a project that has been back burnered several times since January. I am bound and determined to get it finished this week. Entering the content is something I do myself because having written most of the content I know what exists and have it in my mind the "RIGHT" way to put it on pages. Each Library pages takes 20-30 minutes to build so you can just imagine how time consuming this is. Hence, my vanishing act here in the Neighborhood the last several days. I have missed everyone! Thank you for taking care of one another .

The new Library has 13 Categories each with 8-16 articles and links back to active conversations in the Neighborhood or other Library pages.

When you see this button look below it for article titles. As you roll the cursor over the titles they change color to indicate they are links. Give a click and your article will open under this title button:

One of our most read areas is "Emotional Journey of Massive Weight Loss" --- and this section is now complete. You'll find articles there about body dysmorphia, anger, sex and the infamous Girls Gone Wild article.

The categories are listed under this button: and you will see it on all category index pages and the article pages. Open any category to find the articles in that area.

And to link to relevant Neighborhood topics look for the links under this button:


And finally this button will lead you to some of our valued site sponsors.


I hope you find this new layout friendly and informative. I really love the look of our new website and am anxious to continue coding (did I really say that?) in order to get it all organized so we may make full use of all that LivingAfterWLS has to offer us. And remember - you can always link directly to the Library from the top toolbar here in the Neighborhood.

February 7: Seven Fat Fighting Facts

1. Do not skip meals. Missing a meal lowers metabolism, drops blood sugar and results in unnecessary hunger and possible binging.

2. Add a squeeze of fresh lemon or lime to water. It boosts Vitamin C intake and the acid helps with internal cleansing.

3. Replace sedentary TV time with an activity or a hobby to avoid mindless snacking commonly associated with television viewing.

4. Consume only quality foods that serve your nutritional needs and reward your body with high grade fuel.

5. Drink green tea which is full of antioxidants and boosts energy. Green tea counts in your water intake!!

6. Keep a journal. Record your food intake, exercise output, daily moods and energy levels. You will learn a great deal about yourself by keeping a journal.

7. Give up the all or nothing mentality. Make small changes that lead to long-term success, not short-term false fix quicks.

Winner's Edge and Weight Loss Surgery

Hello Everyone!

First let me say that I'm not a sports enthusiast and have only a vague understanding of professional sport strategy and politics. Even so, I enjoy the World Series of Baseball: have enjoyed it since I was a kid when we attended the LA Dodgers games in the early hay-day of record making manager Tommy Lasorda.

So it has been with enthusiasm and wonderment that I've watched the first three games of the 2007 World Series as the Boston Red Sox have literally kicked the wind out of Colorado's Rocky Mountain High. Pre-series it seemed Colorado, who had won 21 of their 22 previous games, appeared unstoppable.

What went wrong in this young team's first run for the world championship? An Associated Press report said, "One reason the Rockies have gone from winning to their tough position now might well be the eight-day wait they had between the National League playoffs and the start of the World Series. They simply haven't rediscovered the ingredients that got them here."

An eight-day delay between winning the National League pennant and stepping up to bat for Game 1 stalled the Rockies, even put them in slump. The Associated Press reports a World Series comeback is unlikely.

Observing the psychology of "winner's edge" I cannot help but link it to long-term management of a healthy weight by way of weight loss surgery. (You knew this was coming, right?) At LivingAfterWLS and in the Neighborhood we speak often of grit determination, the storm of enthusiasm and being hell-bent to work our weight loss surgery tool. We want to keep the winner's edge because when we lose control of the tool we feel like losers (not weight losers, life losers) and feelings of failure perpetuate a hopeless slump.

Here are some quotes from the Neighbors in a thread titled Storm of Enthusiasm:

"For me (although far from perfect) what creates that feeling of enthusiasm is "BEING IN CONTROL" and watching the pounds come off! . . . But all in all....I know that losing and doing what we KNOW is right for us....leads to the weight going down and feeling better!"
-- Julie S aka Sunshine

"I am still in the weight loss phase and am seeing all the benefits that come with it! The rapidly changing body, the new clothing sizes, shopping! Reeling over the health benefits, the attention, the high of it all! It will be good to look back at the responses here once the high wears off!"
--Buffy CT

"I MAKE my storm of enthusiasm. Turning the weaknesses that caused self-destructive behavior into strengths that encourage self-empowering behavior creates a storm of enthusiasm. If I sense the winds starting to drop, I am moved to fan them! I just don't want the adventure to end. I'm not perfect by any means! But I've looked at life from both sides now, as the song says. This side is better. I shall not be moved!"
--Judy Petite

"You know, just coming to the Neighborhood storms up my enthusiasm. Reading what the Newbies have to say always takes me back to that initial "thrill". It is why I am here so much!"
--Kim

The Rockies only have one more chance to recapture their winner’s edge. But a person with weight loss surgery receives the gift of a new chance every day. It is highly possible to rediscover the ingredients that made your weight loss surgery storm of enthusiasm in the first place. If you are in a slump muster all the enthusiasm and brew a storm of enthusiasm, the same storm you enjoyed in the early stages of your weight loss surgery experience.

Seek support. Pursue knowledge. Make a plan. Grow desire. Empower yourself.

Cheers!
Kaye

GDL: Grit Determination List

Since we are focused on getting back on track, rediscovering our pouch and empowering ourselves with success now is a great time to make a Grit Determination List. (grit: indomitable spirit: pluck)

A Grit Determination List?

Absolutely! This is a list of your Grit Priorities - the things in life about which we are unyielding; the things you will accomplish without regard or acknowledgment of life's barriers. Your list can include weight loss surgery rules and/or goals, healthy living concepts or just stuff you need to fix so you can thrive. Life has few absolutes - the GDL (Grit Determination List) is one of them. It can be a list of one or a list of one hundred. Just write it down. Hold your GDL close to your heart or share if you must. Either way, get hell-bent and uncompromising with your list.

Own it.
Live it.
Love it.

I share mine with you as a pledge to myself. After all, if my GDL is public then I have got to make it happen, right? Feel free to share your list in the comments here, on your blog or in the Neighborhood. Or, if it feels right, write it, learn it and burn it. This is your tool - use it in the most comfortable manner you know.

Kaye's Grit Determination List:

On this day, August 18, 2007 I vow to myself that I shall employ my personal powers of GRIT DETERMINATION to do the following:

1. Take my full vitamin cocktail - daily.
2. Engage in kindly self-talk with myself - daily.
3. Laugh at myself - daily.
4. Engage in "living" activity 40 minutes per day (this in addition to my scheduled exercise - 50 minutes per day).
5. Call my Dad every week.
6. Manage and clear my incoming paperwork/email - daily.
7. Empower others with positive talk even when I question my own capabilities.
8. Nap when I'm tired.
9. Manage personal guilt so that I neither feel like a failure, nor disregard life's lessons. i.e.; acknowledge that I am indeed, human.


There you have it, in the raw, my GDL. Have you started your list yet?

Hell-Bent to Get Back on Track

Hello Friends!

Have you started your 5 Day Pouch Test yet? Perhaps you are waiting for the weekend or a special day to start. Perhaps you are on day 2 already. So many of you have written and are excited to use this as an opportunity to reclaim your pouch and your health. This excites me and inspires me to keep fighting my own battle against a regain.

We have our food plan in order and even some recipes. But there are two other things we can address during this pouch test: mental and emotional readiness and physical activity. Today we will look at emotional and mental preparation to restore the sense of hope and excitement we enjoyed as pre-ops and in the early weeks and months following our surgical weight loss solutions.

Do you remember back when you were researching your weight loss surgery - the sleepless nights imagining finally having a method of weight control that would work and you could get off the dieting roller coaster? There were no hoops we would not jump through to get approval and get our cure. In a June 21, 2006 You Have Arrived Newsletter I wrote about this hell-bent determination: "Ayn Rand, the noted 20th century philosopher wrote, "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." It is with this kind of hell-bent determination many WLS pre-ops fight their insurance providers to have the surgery. The same grit determination must be employed after surgery. If we are to achieve a healthy life we absolutely must fight like a mad dog against everything that made us obese in the first place. We must take control and own responsibility for our success."

Read the full article: Who is going to stop me?

This was the newsletter in which we introduced the LivingAfterWLS Empowerment Philosophy - many of you can probably quote it because I reference it so often. I reference it often because I believe in it, but also because I need to be reminded of it often. In part it reads:

"The LivingAfterWLS philosophy empowers individuals to recognize and harness their own inner strengths. The first step to personal empowerment is personal responsibility. LivingAfterWLS holds individuals accountable for making their weight loss surgery successful. When individuals take responsibility they feel liberated and motivated to invest personal equity in their success." Read the full statement

When we fought to get the surgery we were personally empowered. We had to be, there aren't many advocates out there fighting on the behalf of the morbidly obese.

VIDEO: Getting Ready for Weight-loss Sugery: The Process

Yet somehow, if we get to comfortable in our post weight loss surgery life there is a tendency to lose that hell-bent determination. Perhaps we take it for granted. Maybe we just get bored or distracted. Maybe we get discouraged because life after surgery has not been without struggle. Any of these things can cause us to lose hope or feel like failures. I have gone through periods of sadness and suffered feelings of failure since my weight loss surgery. Don't we all? This despair only festers if we regain some weight or sit on a plateau for an extended length of time.

But just like we can work a plan to test the pouch and get back on track, we can mentally train our mind to get back to being hell-bent determined to take personal control of our health. LivingAfterWLS is here to champion you in the cause, we are advocates who believe you deserve to be healthy, you deserve to be kind to yourself and you deserve to achieve the greatest level of success with weight loss surgery when you harness your inner resources.

Do you remember that 1970's best selling book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull"The story is a charming allegory with a profound message: push yourself as hard as you can in pursuit of you dreams. The story of Jonathan and his friend Fletcher reveals two ordinary birds who, with passion, chose to better themselves. They were not content to merely eat and sleep. They wanted to become extraordinarily good at what they could do - fly." I loved that book and I compared surgical weight loss patients to this classic story of two birds hell-bent on becoming the very best at what they could do: fly.

To the real Jonathan Seagull who lives within us all

My friends - you can recapture the grit determination that led you to weight loss surgery. You have not lost your inner strength. Take the LivingAfterWLS Self Assessment and write down exactly why you had surgery in the first place. I bet you still have strong desires for the life you thought it would bring you. If there have been bumps in the road you are normal: this is not an easy thing for any of us. Use the assessment to identify what you are doing right and how you can set a coarse to get back on track with all the determination of a plain old seagull spreading his wings to fly. Use this tool with your 5 Day Pouch Test. Spend these five days reading about nutrition and fitness and learning key knowledge about life after gastric surgery. Make notes of your dreams and desires. Make a plan. Get hell-bent on taking back your life.

And finally, remember, you never have to walk alone in this journey. We have our safe haven Neighborhood community. There are blogs all over the Internet and support groups are sprouting up around the world. Reach out for whatever support you are most comfortable with and empower one another. I believe in you and I know you believe in me. Together we are one tough fighting hell-bent pack of friends fighting to become the very best we can be.

Can you take one more bird article? Read Like the penguins, we will never walk alone